What about you? Is there a word that flashes in your mind that
you know is a not an adequate descriptor of you or your life and yet you
imbibe it like there is nothing else left to drink?
So here lies the invitation: Will you play your new song for us, the
one which you have recorded on top of that ugly word that tries to sear
and pierce your heart so that we might know a new song, too?
In plain English: Will you tell us the word or the lie that you so
often have repeated to yourself and then tell us how God has replaced
that word with new words, full of truth?
We were challenged to BREAK THE TAPE! So, what does mine play...
EXTROVERT...
What? You didn't know that was a bad thing? I love to talk...and chat...and have felt repeatedly slapped with, "In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise." Prov. 10:19 Um, what about cheerfulness, encouragement, happiness...nope...BE QUIET! And that's not to say that my mouth doesn't get me into trouble. It certainly does. But at some point this bad tape started singing lies about how Introvert means you are naturally more Godly...meek and mild...gentle and wise. I'm aware that Introverts have issues they struggle with too. I'm just not one. And so often, we long to be what we aren't.
This Tape plays in my head...a downward spiral of thoughts...It has a lot to do with comparing myself to others. Others that I'm nothing like! So, I think, I should look instead at solid Bible characters and imitate their lives...
Peter is my favorite Bible Character. God took his impulsivity and turned it into power for the gospel. My other favorite Bible character that's a woman? Martha...but oh, most don't even understand how wonderful she was...They only value her sister Mary. *Gripe Gripe
ACK! How do I break this tape?
For starters...realizing that God made me this way. Telling Him that I hate that He made me an EXTROVERT...is like telling Him He made a mistake when he created me. I need to stop feeling bad about what he loves...His outgoing, overtly expressive daughter.
As Jerry Bridges says in Trusting God, "If I have difficulty accepting myself the way God made me, then I have a controversy with God. Obviously you and I need to change insofar as our sinful nature distorts that which God made. Therefore, I do not say that we need to accept ourselves as we are, but as God made us in our basic physical, mental, and emotional makeup."
It's true...my sinful nature has created some great distortions on God's perfect plan. I do need to make sure that I'm being shaped and molded into Christ's image. Peter didn't continue to be ridiculously impulsive... chopping off ears (Jn. 18:10), correcting Christ (Mk. 8:32), or denying Him when pressed (Jn. 18:27). With the Holy Spirit's strength he channeled those traits to best serve the Lord. He became bold for the gospel message, indeed like the Rock that Jesus predicted (Mt. 16:18).
Martha...didn't keep being the bossy, pushy woman in the kitchen. She stopped blazing the trail at home and abroad. She saw not only Jesus' authority but also began to put her values into what was "the better things" How do I know this? Because, she was right there with Peter in being among the first to declare him as LORD..."Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." Jn. 11:27 "Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."" Mt. 16:16 They were changed and their nastiest faults became their greatest strengths for God's glory.
Don't worry...I will never be meek and quiet in the doormat like sense. I don't really think anyone is called to that; meekness shouldn't mean weakness. My energy will always come from the many groups of women and children I work with each day. It is a strength and gift from God. I have a great ability to encourage and love other people. Forcing myself to be silent would only create bitterness and angst inside. And, I wouldn't be doing the work that God has prepared just for me to do...to bring Him glory.
However, I need to learn to curb my comments...not say everything I think, right when I think it. Sarcasm is not a problem solving tool. Although, generally it's considered hilarious...and I like to think I'm fun to be around...there are still too many nights that I come home thinking, "I shouldn't have said such and so"...then, I start fretting...wishing I wasn't me...wasn't a woman...wasn't an EXTROVERT...and that darn tape starts playing again.
But then...I get out my Bible...and start playing my new song LOUD....It starts with repentance....low and long...and He's always faithful to forgive. Then, it comes in with reminders of His love for me...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Jn 3:16
"O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list. You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them." Ps 40:5
...It drowns out Satan's sorry song of defeat...My new melody ends with absolutely sure VICTORY!
"Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
through our Lord Jesus
Christ." 1 Cor. 15:57
"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
No comments:
Post a Comment