Friday, October 2, 2009

Caffeinated Randomness: Septober...argh!

I'm experiencing know that odd time where two calendar months collide? Sometimes things on the flip of the calendar sneak right up on you...and're busy. AND if you happen to get sick at that same time...well, hang on it's gonna be a wild ride!

I've had Sinusitis...a really good case of it. You know, when a Dr. says, "You're a real trooper" it's not really a means..."You're really sick...and should have come in sooner." He prescribed a codeine (narcotic) based pain killer with my antibiotic cuz my sinuses were killing me. I took one at night...and even in the night they have horrible adverse effects on me. I had wild dreams and sweats and in the morning felt like I was full of cotton and fuzzy. Eww! more narcotics for me.

Then, the little man was sick again. He's sick about every two to three weeks for those keeping track. Sure enough...ear infections...antibiotic...again! I'm still trucking a long in my own strength. Dumb...very dumb! Okay, to be honest I had thought of--

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5-6

Notice...I said I thought of it...doesn't mean that I stopped trying to make everything right necessarily. I sort of gave it to God. You ever do that?? Dumb...very dumb...just give it over!

Next, Loverbrains starts saying how tired he is...and probably has a cold...and am I loving and understanding? Oh no! Pure selfishness screamed, jumped up and down, and cried at the thought of yet another sick person to take care of. For heavens sake, it's my turn to be sick. I told a friend that I just didn't think I could face it. She all caps...


Ah..that's right! I am not alone and dependent on my own strength. God is in control today...and He isn't needing my help! The fact that we are all sick is no surprise to God. He knows that we are going out of town for a college reunion. He knows I had a bushel of apples to fully freeze, can, dehydrate and care for!! So why would He allow us to be sick? What is He trying to teach me? Hmmmm?

"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9

"Be still and know that I am God." Ps. 46:10

God has a funny way of making me stop and take account of myself. I have a major "trust God" problem...not with big things so much as the little things! Still dangerous! Maybe more so...cuz it sneaks up on you...and Satan tiptoes in and helps you feel all self sufficient and mighty. Sickening! God is God...and I am NOT! If it takes me being sick to see God's proper powerful place in my life...bring it on! AND...double challenge...better make sure that Christ can be seen in me even when I'm sick. Let me just say that I'm mean when I'm is Loverbrains...and it makes for an ugly marriage! So, who needs to say they're sorry...ME!!!

"Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law." Ps. 119:18
I see so many good things about God when I'm sick. No, it's not the drugs! I see beauty out the window in His Creation. I see wonderful things in my kids playful ways. I see mighty and comforting things in His Word. God is good to His children! I know that sounds sort of crazy...from a sick person...but I know He loves me and He's in control.

So, even if Septober snuck up on me...and I'm buckling up for a bumpy'll be alright...cuz I'm not driving! Metaphorically and Literally...God is driving my life...and Darren's driving to Cinci!


Brookie said...

Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Blessings and healing to you this and every weekend.

Andrea said...

I hope everyone feels better soon - you definitely need a break!