When I started blogging it was partially to help me put a positive face on my season of life. I very specifically chose to call my first blog MomE & Loving It...because I wanted to purpose to love it...even when I didn't like it!What I am about to share may burst a few bubbles out there. I find being a Domestic Engineer...HARD. Yes, I know it's difficult...that's not what I mean. I don't particularly like it most days. I find it mind numbing and not in a good way.
I do understand how women *snap* and run away or kill people. "But for the grace of God, go I"...and I mean that as NO JOKE. For those who can read between the lines of my blog...these last few months have been VERY hard for me. Often, Satan likes to whisper in my ear that I'm failing in every one of life's roles...daughter,wife, mother...Thankfully, God leads me to His Word and shows me...
Isaiah 43:1, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
But last night, as I was crying about life in general...okay and the stupid crab apple jelly/syrup...it occurred to me that I set up all these plans and goals for myself and then get upset and bent out of shape when I don't meet them. AND here's the funny part...no one knows about them but me.
Yeah, I create things for myself to do...cuz just doing laundry, wiping noses and bottoms, cleaning floors and bathrooms ad nauseum makes me quite looney. I often forget to ask God along the way...if ANY of it is His purpose for me. And as my WFW selection points out...I can have any old plans I want...but only the LORD's plans prevail.
My dearest daughter is currently on a kick of wanting to know what is coming next...especially as her birthday approaches. "What's next MomE?" is driving me berserk. It occurred to me that I sort of do that with God though...I'm so impatient. I'm not content with his plans for me...and I add and plump up plans of my own. What's next.. what's next? I was reminded via hymn...that I need to view life Moment by Moment...
Moment by moment I’m kept in His love;
Moment by moment I’ve life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.
How about you? Have you checked to see if today's plans are just a bunch of YOUR plans or are they God's plans?? BIGGER QUESTION: Can you rest content in His plans for you?
My Dad's post, Perfectionism is Next to Godlessness...really harmonized with my thoughts today. My favorite excerpt...
"God is less interested in my perfect completion of some project than He is in His perfect completion of ME. What I suppose are perfect successes are often failures because they inflate my pride, or they take inordinate amounts of time that should have been spent elsewhere, or they are accomplished through ungodly attitudes or actions. What looks like failure, on the other hand, may be God's success if it contributes to my humility, patience, and growth in grace."
10 comments:
Are circumstances and stage in life are vastly different, but I can still relate to making my own plans vs. letting God's purposes be my purposes for my life. It's a struggle, for anyone, single, married, in a huge corporate career or a mind-numbing 9 to 5 job, to let God truly dictate the course of their life. Still, it's the best path to peace and fulfillment. Just not one that I've been able to fully find yet, I guess. Good thoughts here.
And I think I need to go read your dad's post. It's sounds like something I need to read right about now.
I totally appreciate your post today Bobbi. I feel the same way most days. Mind numbingly bored, just passing time, waiting for God to come and show us what he has in store for us. The past 7 1/2 months that we've been unemployed and everything has been in the air has truly tested my patience and faith that God truly has our best interest at heart. I think I'm probably driving my Lord crazy by constantly asking "What's next Abba?" So I feel for poor Emma as she tries to figure out life. I understand your feelings as a mom too, trying to find something to break up the boredom ad yet being the only one who is disappointed when you don't meet those impossibly perfect goals that you've set up for yourself. Thanks. Gill N.
Thank you so much for your post today! You sound so much like I do most days. I am trying to do a little better at talking to God and learning that God is in control and trying to let things go or just give it to God but a lot of days it is just so hard!!
Glad your daughter is trying to find out about more things but I totally understand how the questions can drive you mad!! After I end up snapping at my daughter for asking the same thing for the thousandath time I just have to remember to try to be more patient, which is so hard, and remember I am always asking God a million questions too.
Hang in there woman, big hugs to you and God bless you!!
OH Bobbi,
My heart cries... sitting with you in this pain of Satan trying to squash us all. Thankful & Praising God with you to stop the negativity in your mind, focusing on Him who can see you through. Praying for you sister.
Hang in there!
Hugs, HL
HLJourney.wordpress.com
I hear you... I feel your pain.
This too shall pass.
(((Hugs))) ღ
P.S. You did a very smart thing to name your other blog: MomE and Loving It.
First, it sets positive expectations of your current "job." Secondly, as my DH is fond of saying: "You attract more bees with honey!"
Bless your dear heart.
Oh, I have been there, too...and satan is a liar...
Having my life neat and organized according to MY plan...never works for long...when everything falls apart and I crawl back into His arms...He is quick to forgive...and even quicker to lavish on His love...and then I see...that He was there all along...working...lining up events...teaching me patience and understanding...
Love the mention of "moment by moment"...step by step...day by day...it all leads home....
Thank you for sharing from your heart for WFW. Saying a prayer for you right now, dear one.
God's plans are always superior to our own. Part of our learning curve in this journey is learning to weed through which is which. The enemy loves to quench our thirst and desire (I'm battling this right now), but I am thankful that He never stops working on us.
Blessings to you...
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