God is so faithful and true. He loves well. He always loves me more.
I find this a humbling and crushing truth. When a fearful possiblity breaches my horizon of awareness...I do not trust Him. At least not immediately. Even on top of just seeing His faithfulness...and knowing His presence and peace in hard things.
Instead, I listen to Satan's awful whispers...It will hurt. All God does is take take take. Haven't you had enough to deal with? Doesn't He love you enough to preserve you from more pain?
But, God does know me. He is a perfect parent. He knows where my faith needs to grow...and where I am resistant. I must learn that He is enough for me...that He is faithful and true. Struggle and opposition are promised...not a maybe. And until I learn that He ALONE is enough...and give over everything in full surrender...I will continue to be crushed by fear and slow in obedience.
I think Jon Elliot knew this when he said..."He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.' I have no rights...God has me...my heart completely.
"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."