Hodgepodge Feels Like Summer

 1. Hello Summer! In the northern hemisphere anyway. What's something on your summer bucket list? Do you have an actual summer bucket list? If not, use your hypothetical list.

We are actually about to adventure out West.  This has been on our summer Bucket list for a long time...and we'd planned and cancelled it once due to 2020.  We are very excited as none of us have even been.  We will head to Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and Arkansas in our loopy route through national Parks visiting old friends.  So excited!

2. What for you is the defining scent of summer?

I'm going to go with SUNSCREEN.  I am a pale Woman with a pale nerdy husband and pale children.  Hahaha.

3. What's a (music, food, wine, or flower) festival happening in your part of the country that you would like to attend if tickets/travel/timing was no object? 

I don't live too terribly far from the tulip festival in Holland...Michigan.  LOL!  We have gone there for several summer vacations because my husband worked close to that area on a project when the kids were little but we've never gone to the Tulip Festival.

4. Apparently a military whistle blower claims the US has a UFO retrieval program. What say you? Do you believe aliens are out there? 

Sorry...Aliens, no.  Spies, yes.

5. Besides your wedding day and the birthdays of any children you may have, what are three of your top experiences in life? 

1. When our parents met our babies.

2. Traveling...anywhere and everywhere.

3. Parenting...in many phases it is the tops.  I can think of highlights of every season.  I have really loved being a Mom and Domestic Engineer.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I have really good intentions of visiting ya'lls posts and commenting...especially to you delightful few who comment so sweetly...but somehow between typing on a Tuesday and scheduling posting on a Wednesday (I set an alarm to link it cuz I've forgotten more than once)....  The week takes off on me. 

Brotherly Hodgepodge

1. May 24th is National Brother's Day. Do you have a brother? Older or younger? Did you raise brothers? Tell us something about your brother or tell us something about your own children who are brothers.

I have one sibling, a brother who is almost 11 years younger than me.  In many ways we are more like only children.  I have oldest child traits and he has youngest child traits and we both have only child traits.  I adored him when he was a baby.  It was like having a live doll to play with every day.  I helped teach him animal sounds and read to him a lot but when he learned to say, "You're not my Mom" those days ended...haha.  I was gone to college around the time he was 7-8.  He was about 13 when I got married and I think we started building a stronger bond when he'd come visit me on his own in the summers.  Now we both are married with kids.  He lives pretty far from me but I'm hoping to see him at Christmas.

I also have a girl and boy, in that order, but they are barely 23 months apart.  They've always been buddies.  That's changed a bit since they hit puberty but they are still friends.  This makes me really happy.  Recently, I've seen my son step into his brother role.  My daughter is quiet and sweet and sometimes misses sarcasm and her brother has kindly explained some comments and protected her.  He has also encouraged her in getting her license.  This is probably because she's his ride for the summer but I have noticed a very brotherly kindness in offering to travel with her to certain destinations since she's still slightly nervous solo.

2. A great book you've read or movie you enjoy that features brothers? 

BOOK:  Grief is a Thing With Feathers by Max Porter

MOVIE:  Onward

3. Something you think is overrated? Something you think is underrated? 

Air Fryers are over-rated.  I have a convection oven.  I'm not giving up any more counter space.  

The complexity of things like the internet, google maps and even my phone camera are underrated...things I use almost every day now
and yet I remember before they existed.  My kids will never know.

4. How much does your past shape you? What parts have shaped you the most? 

I just read a good book called, "Putting Your Past in Its Place: Moving Forward in Freedom and Forgiveness" by Stephen Viars.  It really speaks to this question.  

Lives grind to a halt when people don’t know how to relate to their past. Some believe “the past is nothing” and attempt to suppress the brokenness again and again. Others miss out on renewal and change by making the past more important than their present and future. Neither approach moves people toward healing or hope.

Pastor and biblical counselor Stephen Viars introduces a third way to view one’s personal history—by exploring the role of the past as God intended. Using Scripture to lead readers forward, Viars provides practical measures to

• understand the important place “the past” is given in Scripture
• replace guilt and despair with forgiveness and hope
• turn failures into stepping stones for growth

This motivating, compassionate resource is for anyone ready to review and release the past so that God can transform their behaviors, relationships, and their ability to hope in a future.

5. What's your favorite simple pleasure? 

I really enjoy iced coffee in the summertime.  It's even sweeter now that my son has joined me in this simple pleasure.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

It's finals week for my kids.  Lots of studying...and a few tears already.  Sigh.  I'm ready for this school year to be over.  The kids are both taking summer classes to open space in their schedules for other things Junior/Senior years, etc.  So, there will be a week of ease before they jump into that...It's a busy season.  One of their classes is PE
2...and my random thought is that I better up my exercise game because in July we're going out West on a great adventure and I don't want to be left in the dust.

Springtime Surprises Hodgepodge

1. What surprises you the most about people? 

Well, I find myself wanting to turn this answer into a gripe about all the bad things people do that 'surprise' me...but I'm really not surprised cuz the world is broken and I know this...OR I could go with being surprised by kindness but the truth is I rarely if ever find myself surprised by that these days.  Sorry...first question and I'm on the struggle bus.

Sometimes I'm surprised by people's special gifts and talents and that's always delightful.  I love artistic and musical gifts and even mathematical and scientific gifts are interesting and surprising.

2. Would you rather have a chauffeur, nanny, gardener, maid, personal shopper or cook? Tell us why that one? 

After thinking about it I will go with maid.  I don't like to dust, so therefore, I don't...and it feels like things get dirty as soon as I clean them...especially floors.  I'd love a weekly maid.

As the days wane on my chauffeuring my kids about, I value those times in the car a lot more and so I wouldn't want to hire that out.  A few years ago I might have jumped at this one though.

I enjoy gardening and have a pretty easy level of plant life set up around our house.  I will simplify our vegetable patch when my dear daughter is no longer at home to help me.  Maybe I'll just go all flowers so I can have fresh bouquets to share and set around my house.  

Personal Shopper sounds ridiculous.  I don't shop that much and when I do grocery pickup I figure I'm kind of my own personal shopper.  Plus I love thrift sales and all the fun is in rummaging yourself. 

Cooking, again I enjoy it, so I wouldn't want to take that out...although I've heard it's very difficult to cook for two...and that makes me sad.  I currently love my son coming into the kitchen, snatching the top off the crockpot, stirring about and sniffing...and then eating seconds or thirds and telling me how wonderful it all tastes.  

3. May 18th is National Notebook Day. No idea what that means but let's run with it anyway. What's something you currently keep in a notebook? Have you seen the movie The Notebook? On a scale of 1-5 how does it rate? (5=a favorite, can watch and re-watch and re-watch again) 

I am not a fan of The Notebook movie.  I am a fan of notebooks.  I am notorious for using 1/3 the pages and never filling them up...or keeping them blank because they're pretty and I can't decide what to write in them.  Currently, I've been keeping the notes to book studies I'm doing so I can refer to them if I ever need them.  I fold a page between each book.

4. Do you like mushrooms? Last dish you made or ate that had mushrooms on the ingredient list? Your favorite dish that calls for mushrooms? 

I love mushrooms.  I used them in Beef Stroganoff a few weeks ago.  It is probably my favorite dish with mushrooms.  It's simply beef tips with a brown sauce with onions and mushrooms...then I add egg noodles and a dollop of sour cream.

5. What would you say is the most annoying thing people do in public? 

The phone annoys me.  I'm not opposed to people needing their phones...like if you're looking at notes for a lunch mtg, or taking a call from a kid, etc.  but if you're sitting there ignoring the person who made time to spend with you 'in person' that's just rude.  And smart watches are just as bad.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I'm growing a pot of chamomile and lemon balm for the first time this year.  I imagine calming tea times.  I am also dehydrating my own green powder because I'm cheap and can use the dandelions in my own yard, thank you.

Bird Lover Hodgepodge

1.  April 26th is National Audubon Day, honoring John James Audubon, the French-American ornithologist, naturalist, and painter known for his detailed study and illustration of birds in their natural habitats. Do you have a bird feeder? Any birds in your home decor? Have you ever owned a pet bird? What's your favorite bird?  

I attribute my love of birds to my parents.  We had Audubon and Peterson books all throughout my formative years.  We kept a running log of birds we'd spied in the binoculars by the door.  My Dad made amazing bird carvings that I now get to showcase in my home.  I have a rescued nest filled with eggs/shells I've found abandoned...along with a feather collection.

This winter was the first I tried to go without a bird feeder...it's in a difficult spot to fill, I thought I'd cut costs and I had a lot going on...but I really missed it....especially chickadees and cardinals.  I do have my oriole feeder up this spring and one hummingbird feeder for any early travelers.

My favorite bird is the chickadee...short and spunky, like me! 

2. What's something you took to 'like a duck to water'? 

Reading...I learned easily around 3 years old and never stopped!

3. Empty nest, nest egg, proud as a peacock, free as a bird, birds of a feather flock together, or the early bird catches the worm...choose one and tell us how it currently applies to your life. 

Early bird catches the worm.  I get up very early these days so I can see my teens before they head to school.  I've found it to be a surprise blessing.  I get to watch the sunrise, pray for them, and get some stretches in before I have to jump into other tasks.  

4. Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds...your favorite seed and a favorite food or dish made with that seed or topped with that seed? Have you tried all the seeds on the list? Any you don't care for? 

I have tried all of these seeds.  I'm a seed fan.  My friends and I call them 'hippie seeds'...haha.  I have a recipe for protein balls that I will attach.  Super easy and fun snack to share.

5. Something in the past week that made you 'happy as a lark'?

We've had the opportunity to have friends over for Friday games and dinner...and also hosted a gaggle of college kids for Sunday lunch.  My happy place is hospitality.  My heart was " happy as a lark!"

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Finally cut up some fabric to begin my 'canning quilt'...I haven't done much sewing since February...I don't know that this will be the final layout but it's a start.  I have A LOT of fruit and veggie fabric because I've been collecting for years.  The idea is that it's canning jars on the countertop as viewed from above.  

Enjoying My Teenagers

I enjoy having teens.  They are bright and interesting.  They are hilarious and fun.  Oh sure, there are days when I'm tempted to worry when they make goofball decisions or display a lot of uncomfortable emotions...but overall I'm loving this season of life....if teaching them to drive doesn't get me killed.

They're going through so much in this developmental stage...emotional, physical, spiritual.  So much of the parental distress I encounter among those who are hating the teen years, stems from poor discipline in the younger years.  Because the foundations of discipline and authority weren't laid down early, they are unable to fully switch into solid instruction.  This is frustrating for everyone...their teens and them.  

Please don't hear me saying this from some lofty mound... 'we've done it perfectly'...that's not what I'm saying.  If anything, I see our early mistakes quite boldly in our little mini me's faces and behaviors.  I do see areas where we've had to go back and shore up some discipline and re-assert authority.  We've all (our teens and us old folks) had to be reminded to bow before the Ultimate Authority.  God has needed to humble us and help us live in obedience to His will and ways.  A recent metaphor used with one of our children is, "the box of privilege you live in will be small until you can show us responsibility and self-discipline in these areas."  The more they respond to godly discipline, the more instruction we can bestow and knowledge they can build.  Hilariously, I agonized over that last point and decided on metaphor...lest anyone thing I literally put my teen in a box. LOL 😂 

But, there are fun days in parenting teens.  And those days are truly great.  I get glimpses of who they will be as adults...it's so very close on those days.  I'm delighted at the more frequent cross overs to friendship.  I am still firm on the 'I'm your parent, not your friend' concept...meaning 'My job isn't to be your buddy and have you be happy with me."  However, it does make my heart happy to see them coming out the other side...and choosing to be our friends. I love when my daughter comes skipping up to me and says, "Mom, do you want to hear something funny?"  Or when my son chats with me in the car about friendships and projects and lovingly rolls his eyes and hugs me after I've sent him another dorky capybara meme.

And even on those days of foolish decisions and overwhelming emotions...I am blessed to have God's Word to guide us...to focus our heart's on what pleases Him most.  God is the perfect parent.  His Word lights our way.  

Please share with me any words of encouragement you have from your own journey.

What are you reading? February/March Check-in

I just realized that the February reading check-in never posted...so I will add on March and post them together.  I have been busily reading.  

I am working to incorporate more audio books into my life.  I have been listening to them as I go for walks...my attempts at exercise.  I find it hard to multitask while listening.  I either stop listening and have to back up the recording, or I mess up what I'm trying to do or cook.  I think if I had a commute or long car ride audio books would work splendidly.  

I have been reading a lot of fiction at bedtime.  I've had some rather heavy counseling cases and fiction helps my brain slow down and focus on something else than the problems at hand.  Sometimes that takes a few hours...and sometimes I read 'just one more chapter' haha.

Read:

Fiction: (On my nightstand because I don't have to pay attention and highlight while I read)

Garment of Shadows by Laurie King

Island of the Mad by Laurie King

Riviera Gold by Laurie King

Castle Shade by Laurie King

Non-Fiction:

Adorned by Nancy Leigh DeMoss (reread for women's ministry)

Untangling Emotions by J. Alasdair Groves & Winston T. Smith (reread with group)

The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson (annual reread)

Conflict Resolution by Lou Priolo 

Audio:

Therefore I Have Hope by Camron Cole

How Long, O Lord? by D.A. Carson

In Process:

Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung (re-read w group)

Audio: Saints Sufferers and Sinners by Michael R. Emlet

Audio: The Problem of Pain by CS Lewis

Heaven Rules by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

What are you reading??

Hodgepodge 500

1. Last time you drove/flew 500 miles (ish)? What's a place you'd like to visit that lies approximately 500 miles from your current location? 

For Spring Break we flew to VA to visit family.

I'm very much looking forward to our driving out West this summer.  It will be one of our last big family trips...and much more than 500 miles.  The kids are getting older and wanting to get summer jobs...so I know the time is fleeting.

2. Tell us about a time recently that it felt like you were 'racing against the clock'. 

I find lately that I have days open to my own planning that are busy but relatively slow paced...that are then followed by days where I'm too closely scheduled and I am 'racing against the clock' from one errand and appointment to another.  I really need to find a way to scatter things up but that doesn't seem to be the way of things.

3. Have you ever attended any really large sporting events? What was your impression of the experience?  

The Superbowl, The Kentucky Derby, The World Series, FIFA World Cup, The Indianapolis 500, The Daytona 500, The Olympics, The Masters, Wimbledon, The Boston Marathon, March Madness, Tour de France, Monaco's Grand Prix, The Open (golf), The Ryder Cup, The Stanley Cup Finals..of the events listed which would you most like to attend in person? Or maybe one that's not listed? 

I have not attended any large sporting events.  I don't enjoy large crowds.  I barely make it through high school sporting events and I'm only there for the band (my kids are in marching band/pep band).  We do love watching the World Cup every four years and I would go to that if I got the opportunity.

4. Are you an iced tea drinker? If so, do you drink it year round, or only in the spring and summer months? Do you make your own or buy it bottled? Sweet or unsweet? Flavored? Lemon or no lemon? How about a Long Island Iced Tea? 

My husband is an iced tea drinker...I am a warm tea drinker.  He drinks it all year round.  In an attempt at being more healthy he has gone to unsweet tea with maybe some stevia added.

5. April 20th is Volunteer Recognition Day...do you volunteer in some way? Tell us about it. If not, tell us about a volunteer you appreciate. 

I've spent a large part of my life volunteering.  As a pastor's kid I was 'voluntold' in many ministries.  When the kids were little I volunteered in their schools...pretty much doing para work for free.  I am still very involved and will be Band Booster president this coming year.  I also volunteer heavily in our church and volunteer as a biblical counselor for our community.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Spring break brought a lot of illness and our family is just now digging out of weeks of a respiratory/viral awfulness.  I'm thankful for the slow down that illness can bring...and for the beauty of springtime.

Grace 2023

One of my sourdough loaves that turned out pretty!

For the last decade or so I've picked 'a word of the year.'  For me, it has proven helpful to have a topical focus for each year.  God has chosen to use these words to deepen my spiritual growth and keep my gaze on Him.  The last two years...I've had Dwell & Abide and, amid deep suffering, God has used these words to keep me in His Word, for which I am deeply grateful.  

I had a real struggle choosing a word this year.  I started considering Hesed...due to my recent reading of Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mastery of God's Lovingkindness by Michael Card.  But, I decided it was a bit too wide and involved.  It would probably require a re read of the book and I have other books on my long list.

So, I then seriously considered Humility.  

This leads me on a bunny trail to explain a concern I have with this whole "choosing a word for the year" thang.  I have noticed it's led to a certain amount of superstition in the christian church and even myself.  It's ridiculous for us to think, 'If I don't choose difficult topics such as patience, humility, etc. than God won't refine and teach me in those areas.'  God is absolutely faithful to make us more like His Son.  He will focus in whichever areas He sees we need it most.  It doesn't matter if I'm in agreement.  Also, my fears on choosing difficult topics stem from a skewed or inaccurate view of Who He Is.  He is gentle and lowly...He knows all about me and yet desires to draw me close.  Any pain that he brings or allows is for my refinement, not my destruction.  So, all that to say...I didn't choose Humility (lol)...it was too scary.  But, God is still faithfully humbling me and working on crushing my Pride.  I would expect nothing less.

Where I landed for this year was Grace.  It seemed gentle and simple.  Boy, was I wrong.  I am currently just collecting ways I hear it used...and then I'm going to start parceling out what God's Word says about each.  It brings up interesting connections...ie. Grace/Mercy, Grace & Gracious, Grace-filled...I've already uncovered what I think are some incorrect uses or maybe just secular uses of the word...'giving myself or others grace'...'it's all grace'...etc.  It will be an interesting year.  It makes me thankful that I have decided to write again.  

Do you select a word focus each year?  Why or why not?  If so, what have you chosen and how can I be praying for you.

What are you reading? January Check-in

 

I have a new journaling bible...a new version to me...CSB.  It has a linen cover...it's hardback.  All of things are new and I'm loving it.  I haven't gotten a new Bible in a long time.  As I type that I think how incredibly blessed I am to have multiple bibles, in multiple versions, beautiful and marked with all I've learned by God's grace over the years.  He has done a lot through His Word in me.

Untangling Emotions by Groves & Smith -  this is a reread for me.  Our small group is going through it together.  I read it quickly a year ago, per my normal method.  It is a joy to read it slowly and with a trusted group of friends.  Their insights are very helpful to me in learning to love better.

The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson - this is also a reread for me.  I try to read this annually because it's very helpful to my marriage.  Our marriage has undergone a lot of stress these last few years and all of the truths in this book help get me right side up and viewing things biblically.

Garment of Shadows by Laurie King - I love the Mary Russell series by this author.  Recently my hubby gifted me with the missing pieces of my collection so I'm re reading them.  It's been so long I can't remember exactly how they end and certain details.  I stayed up until 1AM finishing this so it goes down as the first completed book of 2023.  

30 Days of Humility by Crossway - A close friend is doing this with me.  I don't feel I have time to join a group study...but we're going through this bi-weekly.  I think it's silly how superstitious we can be about studying things like patience and humility as if it will bring trial into our lives.  As if God, who only gives good gifts, wouldn't decide we're getting lessons on it whether we 'choose' them or not.  Ha.  

If you happen to be in the blogosphere...I'd sure love to hear what you're reading.

HP: A New Year

 

1. Did you set any goals for the new year this time last year? Did you meet them or miss the mark? Tell us more if you're comfortable sharing. 

I am always setting goals...but the last few years have been such a blur of suffering and just surviving that I haven't kept up well.  I have survived (praise the Lord) and am just now beginning to feel like myself again.  I have made some new goals...all manageable.  I don't know that I've lowered my expectations but I've gotten more realistic.  I am hoping I'm learning to not hold on too tightly.  

I can't remember the last time

I smiled weightlessly, without worry

Faking it becoming my mantra

And pushing through second nature

But yesterday, I smiled 

all day

And I noticed it.

Slowly, joy is returning.

~Selina Bergey

2. What are three words that might describe the kind of person you were this past year or describe in some way how your life looked? 

Sinner, Sufferer, Saint....I've heard this used many times in counseling to help evaluate a whole person but this year I've examined each very personally.    I pray that this gives me greater compassion and love for others.

3. What's something new you ate, saw, heard, or experienced in 2022? What did you think? 

Caregiving.  

Always pray to have eyes that see the best, 

a heart that forgives the worst, 

a mind that forgets the bad, 

and a  soul that never loses faith.

4.  Oxford Dictionary has announced it's word of the year for 2022, and it's this-goblin mode. Huh? Have you ever heard this phrase? Used this phrase? It's defined as "a type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations." 

This year they allowed the public to choose amongst three finalists. You can read more about that here. 

I would love to know what constitutes "the public"...I haven't even heard my young friends use goblin mode.  Gotta say the "unapologetically" part of this definition is unsettling.

If you were in charge, what word would you declare word of the year for 2022? 

I would choose Duolingo because our whole family has gotten into using this app. We are all learning different languages which has been hilarious and fun.  I am getting to the point where I'm going to need a real text book and some friends to practice with but the app is super fun.

5. Any special plans for an end of year celebration in your house or town? The travel channel says the world's best New Year's Eve celebrations will happen in Copacabana Beach-Rio de Janerio, the Orlando theme parks in Florida,  London, Sydney, New York's Time Square, Edinburgh Scotland, and Paris. If you could attend any one of these which would you choose? Tell us why? 

During the day we played lots of games as a family.  It was fun and relaxing.  Poor Em had her wisdom teeth out the day before so I made enchiladas.  I forget that they're so easy to make.  They turned out delicious.  We saved the fizzy sparkling grape juice for another time since she couldn't have carbonation yet and we didn't want to leave her out.  

I'd love to spend New Year's Eve in Edinburgh, Scotland.  It's a beautiful city at any time of the year...and the people are lovely.  I love following @mylittleedinburgh on Insta.  She makes me want to go back for another visit.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I'm sure I've said this before...but perhaps this year I will actually do it. ' I would like to spend more time in this space.'  Writing is good for me...cathartic.  So much has happened since my last post...after surviving a Stem Cell Transplant my Dad got Graft Vs Host Disease and passed away August 2021...my Mom was in assisted and living six hours away from me...my brother and I sorted and sold my parents home...and then in August of 2022 I moved Mom to live closer to me...the transition was bumpy even though a lot of careful planning was done beforehand.  And it continues to be an adjustment...I struggle to carry an enormous amount of responsibility without adding in self pity and selfishness.  Some days I fall on my face. Every day God picks me up...and carries me.