Marriage Monday...yup, I'm linking my blogs...

Generally, I try not to over link my two blogs...but today I blogged about the importance of prayer in marriage...a newly recommitted truth in my life...and I want to share with you. I have deliberately chosen to post my Marriage Monday posts over at MomE & Loving It because I want to make a POINT that marriage comes before MomE....and God comes before both. Join me HERE...and to join Chrysalis, click the button below.




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Marriage Monday: Husband Christmas Interview...

I got back from the Thankmas break and realized that it was Marriage Monday. Usually, I post MM on my MomE blog but had already posted...so I perused the other posts...realized there was a bit of Christmas theme to the interviews...took some questions from others...and here is the result...

Me: Describe your ideal Christmas.
Loverbrains: I'd spend it with our family at home. We'd watch the kids unwrap and play with their gifts. We'd read the Christmas story together.

(I'd just started this while making dinner. He graciously followed me into the kitchen to listen to my questions.)

Me: What's your favorite Christmas cookie and why?
Loverbrains: *Big Grin* Molasses Mary V. Cookies...because they taste really good!!

(We just got back from my Mom's where she had a whole passel of these cookies made with black strap molasses so they were really good this year! Made us regular Baptists (due to their laxative effect and our being baptists)...hahaha!)

Me: What is your fondest Christmas memory?
Loverbrains: The first Christmas we were married. LOL...wink wink...squeeze squeeze!!

(Our anniversary is Dec. 21st...we had a great newlywed Christmas that year!!)

Me: Share your thoughts about exchanging gifts.
Loverbrains: *Best loud laugh* They'd be unwrapped...it's a combination of frugality, utility and laziness. HAHA! Just kidding!!

(Truth is he tried to argue this with his mother when he was in high school. Thankfully, she won or ignored him...cuz he still wraps presents.)

Me: How do you think our expectations differ at Christmas?
Loverbrains: I think we have the same main objective...to teach our children more about Jesus Christ. You do more decorating, etc. and I tend to want to relax more...but I like it all!

(I love my man...what a great responsible provider. He's a Godly leader in our home, a caring diaper changing daddy, and a warm and gentle husband! I'm blessed...so blessed!)

Evangelistic Opportunity...not just a fairy tale...

Here are my little trick or treaters. They were the Princess and the Frog Prince...hehehe! MomE sprung for Christmas bags...and the Princess lost her handles about halfway around the cul de sac. Fun times...how often to you get to wear your play clothes outside?
Once you're souped up on candy you have the strength to pull your sister around the house...hahaha! YEAH!

And yes, I'm going to answer the burning question I've been asked multiple times this weekend.

Your kids go trick or treating?

My kids do go trick or treating. After some prayer and consideration we decided that it would be effectively slamming the door on any evangelistic attempts with our neighbors to turn off our lights and pretend we aren't home. We pass out candy bags and tracks (cute ones)...and we get to know our neighbors.

We've even had some great conversations. Some were shocked we let the kids go, too...they said, "Aren't you religious?" That was a great opportunity to say that we aren't religious...we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ...and "please, let me tell you what that means."

We've built friendships...and they come to us with their prayer requests...cuz they know we pray...and that we believe in prayer. How neat is that? It makes me soooo happy that I open my mouth and ask how they are...and take the time to listen to their problems...and tell them about the power of prayer in my life because of my ALL POWERFUL GOD.

I do have opportunities to express my concerns with Halloween (evil, Satan, scary, etc.) but I have countless more opportunities to share about Jesus Christ. Remember, it's like I said last week...

When talking with sinners the issue is not their present sin but their need of a Savior!

To see my contribution to Chrysalis' Marriage Monday pop on over to my other blog...
MomE & Loving It

Marriage Monday...

"The Grace of Christian Marriage"

As I was thinking through this topic, I asked my husband to define grace for me. He said, "it's undeserved favor." I like that definition. I've also heard it referred to as unmerited favor...God's sufficiency...God's fullness. As Christians we realize that God's grace is indeed undeserved. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...that saved a wretch like me." But not only are we saved by the grace of God--we also serve the Lord and live the Christian life by the grace of God. Because we realize how important God's grace is to us...and hopefully being humbled by this thought...we bring that grace into our marriages.


1 Pet. 4:8, "Love deeply because love covers a multitude of sins...vs. 10 administering God's grace in its various forms." I was drawn into this passage and back tracked to chapter three. There it talks about a wife's conduct being

...pure and reverent

...submissive

...compassionate

...humble

...able to live in harmony

...returning insult with blessing!


Wow...that's pretty challenging stuff. So, how do those things play out in my Christian marriage? Well, I've got a lot to work on but by God's grace


...I'm still working at it


...for His Glory!

Marriage Monday...

10 Tips for Frugal Living

"The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it."
Proverbs 10:22

This is a timely subject considering the current economy issues. I hope that people who weren't living frugally before will now read these posts and gain tips to help them turn their spending around. Praise God, I married a very frugal man. Trust me...I don't feel that way everyday...but I do see it as God's blessing. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that I needed a husband who'd track my spending and keep me accountable. The awesome thing is...that He also helped me embrace frugality and truly enjoy saving. He's placed friends in my path to give me tips and encouragement.

So, here are my 10 Tips...

1. Keep track and keep organized. Know where your money is going. We were extreme when we started this...saved receipts...but now we know and don't have to be so intense. I was encouraged to see where the money I was saving was going, etc. It's no fun to be frugal if you don't feel it's helping.

2. It may surprise some of my friends to learn that I shop at thrift stores but...IT IS SO AWESOME. I wear name brands (Claiborne, Hilfiger, Abercrombie, Gap, etc.) and never go outside the thrift store. Some of them still have their tags on them ya'll! I buy shoes and bags the same way. It is so stinkin' cool to me to carry Italian leather bags I'd never get away with buying full price (Darren'd kill me) but get for $2.99 at Goodwill. Same with shoes. I've become so accustomed to shopping this way that it really bothers me to have to pay full price for something.

3. Price matching. I am a huge price matcher at Walmart. You can take an ad from anywhere and if they don't beat the ad price they'll give you the competitor's price for the item. I make out like a bandit when Kroger does 10 for 10. I love this for a number of reasons. I don't have to shop all over the city at multiple stores with two toddlers. Even when I can't beat Walmart's price with an ad...I know I got the lowest price. FYI--this doesn't apply to BOGO deals. Don't ask me why. I'm a big generic fan...especially when I can read that the ingredients are I.D..denticle!

4. Use coupons ONLY FOR THE ITEMS ON YOUR LIST. I know there are some awesome couponers out there. I'm not talking about Dealies with CVS and Walgreens, etc. cuz that's a whole other method in and of itself. If you have the time and energy...go for it...it's worked wonders for tons of my friends. I'm talking about getting sucked into the coupons selling you stuff you didn't need to begin with. So, if you find a coupon for something on your list...use it but don't just use coupons to try stuff out...'cuz usually you're losing money.

5. Plan menus. This keeps you from eating out and helps you keep your shelves and freezer organized. My method is to create the weeks menu on top of my grocery list. Keep your calendar handy...so you plan appropriate meals for the day's activities. Then I walk around the kitchen assessing what I need to complete that menu. I then sit down and look at ads to find price matches and coupon matches to the created list. According to my calculations this has saved me about $40 some weeks.

6. Make your own fun. We don't buy the kids toys. We save all wrappings, bottles, etc. and create our own fun. I make my own playdoh, soap paints, etc. Our kids aren't deprived...they do have toys from grandmas and grandpas, etc. We feel this is not only frugal but also will hopefully ward off "little consumerism." We don't want them thinking they are owed toys...and we want them to develop good imaginations.

7. Darren and I make our birthday and Christmas gifts for each other. We usually write letters or poetry. We talked about it...and knew we wanted to pay debt off, etc...and missed those early courting notes anyway! It works out great. For example, just to brag on my man....for my birthday Friday he created a scavenger hunt for me...each verse of a poem took me around the house...until I found my gift. My gift was a bunch of "coupons" for special lovey things. He did sort of cheat this birthday though...and brought home a bag of Dove chocolates...my favorite. I guess, we'll go easy on him! We've decided to celebrate Advent with the kids at Christmas. We really want to emphasize Christ's birth...so each child will get only one gift. We will talk about the ONE BIG GIFT of Jesus', have Jesus' birthday party, etc.

8. One date night a month. Wait, this is money out...how is that frugal? Well, it's an investment. I heard a funny quip once, "Pay for dates now, or pay for counseling later."

9. I've made all Caleb's baby food (exception of Rice Cereal) mostly due to his allergies. I was calculating though...and that's saved us a lot of money. There are all sorts of great baby food making tips out there. I love my book, "Super Baby Food."

10. Bless others. I love doing meals for new babies, getting hot cocoa for the Salvation Army bell ringers, etc. I truly believe that if we give as we are able...God blesses this. "Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you." Duet. 16:17 Don't hold onto the money so hard it screams. It doesn't belong to you. Be wise...but remember it needs to be used for Jesus' as we tell our quarter hoarding three year old. All those quarters you "found" on Daddy's dresser are going to Jesus' on Sunday!

Marriage Monday...

I decided to join the bandwagon/permalink from Chrysalis' site once again. I even linked myself all up this time. (Thanks Beckie for the assistance attaching the buttons to my page!)

Chrysalis says- "Essentially, tell us what you've discovered about the importance of romance and intimacy to your marriage."

I've realized that I never fully understood the importance of romance and intimacy in marriage before our children were born. Sure, I liked the romance and intimacy--and sure we probably had more time for it all but NOW I see the importance of "toning down the tension, and tuning up the tenderness." It builds us up and makes us stronger!

We've really committed, after the birth of our second child, to go on a monthly date. I know, I have friends who go weekly--and I'm awed and amazed-- but monthly works best for us. We're both home bodies, bookworms, and self proclaimed nerds...so time alone in the evenings after the kids are in bed is also wonderful to us. I created a little seating area in our master bedroom and it has become our quiet spot...away from the TV and noise of the ever running dishwasher!

I reached a point where planning everything about the dates was grating on me so I volunteered to set the date and babysitter if he'd plan the date. WOW--was he ever up to the challenge. I now call him my date night guru! Cheap dates or expensive...it's just good to get out. We focus on each other..and for a tiny bit forget all the responsibilties on our shoulders. We love each other--"Oh yeah, I remember you!"

We've found that regular open conversations about the "tensions" in our lives helps them to not grow to unreasonable levels. Also, tuning into each other and planning to be tender helps us respond better to "stressful" news!

It freaks me out to be considered a "marriage counselor" in any way...but if someone can benefit from the things we do...I'm grateful!

Marriage Monday

I was inspired to join the bandwagon on Chrysalis' site. She says June is the month of weddings...but not for us!

This was me and my sweetheart December 21, 2003! We joke around that it seems like it's been forever...but in a good way!

We were married at my parent's church in the evening by candlelight. It was beautiful--everything had a golden glow! There were lanterns on the aisle and candles in all the windows. There were huge oil lamps to light the front and a big white wreath in the front behind the altar.

My Dad officiated...and I figure that's pretty unique. When I mention it, people often ask me if he walked me down the aisle too and yes, he did! We walked down the aisle and he joined our hands and turned around and said that it was his honor, along with my mom, to give my hand to Darren in marriage. Something like that...I actually have the whole thing, his notes, in my wedding album!
We had a super small wedding party...just my good friend, Jill, Darren's brother, Dan and a sweet girl from my Dad's church, Mary Kate. The colors were red and gold. We used silk poinsettias and candles.
We took the pictures before so we could give our attention to our guests after the wedding. It was so late in the evening that many people had to go home right after the reception. My wonderful roommate from college, Becca came with her folks and my buddy Kyle--I think it took them something like 10 hours one way. How wonderful to be loved like that--she did the same thing for my baby shower a year later too!

A humor note: Right when we were supposed to be wrapping up the pictures to seat people for the ceremony, the photographer accidentally stepped on my train and ripped it off of my dress! Thankfully, my Dad ran up to the house and grabbed a needle and thread for my Mom to sew it back on again! Kudos to me for not crying!
We had a nice reception in the church basement with cake, punch and sandwiches. It was tight but I'm of the opinion that a crowded room is better than a sparse one! They rang little bells when we came downstairs and sang songs with "love" in the lyrics to get us to kiss. We opened all of our gifts at the reception. I'm sort of a "phob" about that whole issue. It irritates me to no end that presents aren't acknowledged at the wedding and very often no thank you ever arrives to let you know if they got it, much less liked it but...that is a blog for another time.
We took a short honeymoon to a neighboring city--went to museums, etc. cuz we're geeks like that--and returned to spend Christmas with our families. Another funny note...my new husband was rough housing around with my Dad at Christmas and accidentally broke his rib. He felt horrible and well, so did my Dad! He'd call us weeks later to tell us he'd been thinking of us, "every time he breathed." HA ha!