When my Loverbrains is traveling all sorts of things run through my little mind. Generally, because I am exceedingly selfish, I think about how unfair it all is...me being alone, with often disobedient children, not a moments peace, etc.
I act out in the normal sinful ways...grouching at him when he calls, grouching at the kids...so unhappy, so discontent. I usually feel awful...repent...try to do better...but it's one of those awful cyclical things.
Well, yesterday...a day full of puppy accidents and my three year old throwing things repeatedly and a migraine that the meds did didly for...I had a sort of epiphany. Anyone who follows me knows about me and my "lightning struck my brain" moments. HA!
I was thinking about advent...mostly what it means. Advent: the coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important. At first I was thinking only along the lines of the First Advent...when Jesus was born. That is generally what we are striving to remember through this tradition. We want our children to grasp the anticipation of the Christmas story...the angels, the shepherds, Mary and Jospeh, the wisemen. The hope, the joy, the peace, the love!
But then came the lightning ZAP! I am (or should be) in great anticipation for the SECOND ADVENT...which could be at any moment ya'll. And, amid my grouchies...that thought hit me like thunder! KA-BOOM! What will He find me doing?
I say that blogging is no sin...but am I blogging before spending time in His Word? Am I blogging when my children need my attention, or when I should be domestically engineering my home? I saw this as a possible problem a few years ago...and made a rule to only blog once a day, per blog....and only when the children were asleep or in the care of their father. Ouch...God could definately come back and find me perusing various sites...often coveting things I do not need...ouch, ouch, ouch!
I am often harsh and impatient with my kids. When this hit me yesterday...like a sucker punch to the gut...I changed my tone. Wow, the blessings of the results were almost immediate. My little girl talked to me...and although I still had to continue in firm discipline with my defiant three year old...I was calm and collected and not disciplining in my anger. So often I tell him, "Do not sin in your anger" when I'm angry. Snort, ah...the irony...the awful awful irony!
I get grumpy when the kids rise early and interrupt my prayer time. But then I am reminded that the Bible says, "Pray without ceasing" and that I can shoot off prayers and talk to God all.day.long...in the shower, doing dishes, when things get difficult and intense. Oh, I want to be praying when "in the twinkling of an eye" I am taken up...or He takes me home...however it happens.
What will He find you doing? Are you in great anticipation of the day you stand before Him?
I want to have crowns to lay at His feet and oh, how I want to hear..."Well done, good and faithful servant."
3 comments:
Right on, daughter of mine!
I pray for you, that your insights stick with you - but that today will be more gentle with you.
I, too, will get frustrated when my kids wake up too early and interrupt me, but I figure yelling at them with my Bible open is not too good of an idea. Thank you for being so honest and real!
Would love it if you wanted to link up on Finding Heaven on Tuesdays.
Bobbi, I too have the same rule about blogging. That's why sometimes I don't get to visit as often as I should. Have I prayed? Have I studied? Have I spent time with the kids or hubby? I like to think my priority is based on JOY, but more often, it's not. Thanks for this reminder. I'll be praying for your migraines. Hopefully, you will get some respite over this Advent season.
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