Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hearts Entrusted...

Parenting isn't for the faint of heart. I share regularly about my failed attempts at being super Mom...of not doing all I should...could... I was thinking of this verse,
Romans 7:15 "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."
While I am, much of the time, a dynamic, excited, loving and creative mother...such a passionate and perfectionist personality also leads me to be a very angry, explosive and picky mother...much much more often than I'd like to admit.
I'm beginning to teach my sweet girl her opposites. Day, night. Light, dark. On, off. Up, down. I was reading in Psalms 145:8,
"The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."
Oh no, I felt like crying...I'm being an opposite. I'm slow to love and rich/full in anger. In attempts to create "order" I bark out commands...and demand so much that isn't even really...necessary. What would happen if I took a big 'ole chill pill? Would creativity abound? More importantly...would God's love abound?
I wanted to re-post this poem I posted a long while back...about anger...cuz, even back then I was worried about it's control over me.

I am my child's Bible study...they see Christ through me...How I act...Who and What I'm controlled by are extremely important!

Hearts Entrusted
These tiny hearts to me entrusted,
Soft and tender,
Pockets of soil moist with innocence,
Laden with surprises,
With one blast of anger,
One word unkindly spoken,
One glare of intolerance,
I can cause these tiny hearts to...
Or---God forbid-
I want to plant within their souls seeds of...
Yet, thorny briers of...
I have heedlessly allowed to grow.
Able to call back?
Oh yes, more than I deserve.
Lord, I don't want to fail again.
May I be found faithful to these created by You.
Praise for A-B-Cs perfected,
"Thank you," for windows cleansed with Pledge.
There are no second chances.
I cannot undo the past.
Sear my heart with love and devotion.
May I be a sower of seeds,
A shelter amidst the storm.
May I hear,
"Well done, good and faithful mother."
May I be found true.

Written by Julie Ann Barnhill
-The fabulous author of "She's Gonna Blow; Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger."
Read it. Truly life changing for any angry moms out there!

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