#1--I haven't had my coffee yet, don't make me kill you.
#2--If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
#3--I am woman. I am invincible. I am tired.
#4--I'm not a perfectionist. My parents were though.
#5--We can't all be a princess, someone needs to clap when I go by.
#6--Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
#7--I'm sorry, was it my job to fill your life with joy today?
#8--My inner child thinks you are a big poopy face!
#9--Napping House: You wake 'em, You take 'em!!
#10--Tact is for people who aren't clever enough to be sarcastic.
#11--Your just mad because a house got dropped on your sister.
#12--Sarcasm, just one of the many services I provide.