Monday, March 21, 2011

Marriage Monday: Beauty? Where? Why??

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Aesthetic- having a sense of the beautiful; characterized by a love of beautyI often tease my sweet Loverbrains that he is "aesthetically challenged"....because he doesn't notice things.

When we were first married I found it frustrating...He'd say, "Why do you need curtains if you have blinds?  Isn't it all about function??"  "No dear, it's NOT all about function."  Thankfully, he was relatively content to let me feather our nest...and doesn't really protest my none functional additions. 

And over the years it's become sort of a game that I find hilarious now...instead of frustrating.  He'll come home and I'll say, "I decorated for Spring today....Do you notice anything different?"  He'll look around...and if he's really stumped (ie. I didn't move any major furniture) he'll say, "Where?  In this room??"  Sometimes, I help him narrow it down...sometimes (rarely) he notices...but generally he says it looks "nice" and agrees he'd never have noticed on his own.

As jobs have changed and stresses have increased...I know he considers our home a haven of rest, more now than ever before.  I know that it's probably more about the tidiness and tone of the place...the meals, the kids...that creates that for him.  BUT, I like to tell myself that the beautiful feathers I've love of red, turquoise, music and bird watching...are part of what allows him to relax and recharge at the end of a long hard day at war with the work world.  

He does notice the beautiful he should notice...FYI.  When I come down the stairs on Sunday mornings...he always looks up and says, "Oh Honey, You look nice!"  And he stands up and kisses my forehead (he knows I don't like smeared lipstick kisses).  HA!  Sometimes, he even says...."You smell nice too!"

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste."  Song of Solomon 2:3


Jen said...

So glad that he recognizes the really important thing -- You!

Wondering if you'd like to link up with Soli Deo Gloria tonight? Would love to see you again.

Barbara H. said...

One time my husband was looking at a little mirror in a with a group of other decorations, too small to actually use as a mirror, and wondered "Why?" But he did see that it "fit" with the other decorations on the wall. He has said that if he lived alone the walls would be bare, but he loves that my "nesting" makes it homey.

I do chafe sometimes when he leaves "stuff" strewn around, cluttering the beauty, or when he prefers function over aesthetics -- but those are areas where we seek compromise or exercise forbearance.

Christine said...

Love it! It is ever so much more important for him to recognize the beauty in us, don't you think? ;) It's wonderful how God has created us in marriages with differences- we fill in each other's gaps and appreciate what we each bring to the table.

Faith said...

great post! and yay for him noticing YOU! It's so special to us as women isn't it when our hubbies give us praise for our looks/outfits/home decorating...although my husband has been known to come into a room that I've just totally redesigned and NOT post and thanks for your kind comments on mine :) it's nice to "meet" you....

Miriam Pauline said...

I, too, have a husband that misses the 'details' of how I keep things in the house. But I've learned to accept that as a compliment--if they were not soothing and comfortable then he would notice them.

It is sweet however, that he always notices me. Loved your post. Thanks for sharing.

A Stone Gatherer said...

You know I have a friend that changes her house with the seasons too! I've never done that! How fun to see if your husband sees the changes! I love it!

Mac an Rothaich said...

He he he, I have played that very same game with my man:) Love how he notices you though, SWEETNESS!

Tami Boesiger said...

It used to bother me that my husband didn't notice the good I did in our home, until I realized he didn't notice the bad either! He didn't come home to see the house. He came home to see me!

e-Mom said...

Giggling all the way through. Oh my yes, aesthetically challenged here too... but only for the first decade of our marriage. We used to laugh that the only color e-Dad knew was BROWN.

But how times have changed! The truth is, he has a latent appreciation for interior design, and get this, now our favorite show to watch together is HG-TV. He loves it!

It could happen for you too... but if it doesn't at least your LoverBrains notices your beauty without being asked. Now THAT is major.

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Bobbi!

((Hugs)) e-Mom ღ

Guiding Light said...

What a wonderful post! Thank you so much for sharing! And for stopping by my blog and commenting. Blessings to you my dear sister!