Monday, March 7, 2011

Marriage Monday: Trusting GOD!

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  Eph. 4:32
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TRUST:  assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.  It occurred to me that trust of my sweet Loverbrains hasn't really ever been the crux of our marital issues...it's been trust of God.  Big problems have come for us when I tried to make my Loverbrains fulfill a capacity that only fits God.  Obviously, when I do that...I'm setting him up for failure.  However, I can be fully assured of God's holy character, abilities, strength...and He is TRUTH!  When we both focus on trusting Him with our lives, children, and marriage...everything works out.


I reached a low point on TRUST last Spring.  Having two small children, distant family, and a Loverbrains who travels a lot...I was putting a lot of pressure on myself (and failing) and a lot of pressure on my man (who was letting me down out of sheer exhaustion)...And, I have to say...I felt pretty dumb when it turned out to be a TRUSTing God issue.  


Our Pastor had us meditate on Eph. 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  I had realized I wasn't being very kind...I was too rushed and too freaked out to be kind.  I wasn't trusting God to meet my needs.  There was no way I was going to be tenderhearted....vulnerability...are you nuts!?  I was telling my Loverbrains he'd let me down and didn't deserve my tender heart...but really, I was saying...God had made a bad match...and God wasn't going to keep my heart safe.

Tenderhearted TRUST was extremely hard for me.  I had to pray for God to hold my heart...to feel safe in Him as I tip-toed out to TRUST again.  You know what I discovered?  God is faithful!  He has always cared for me and He always will.   Isaiah 46:4, "Even to your old age and gray hairs  I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you;  I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I was able to really TRUST my Loverbrains when I focused on Christ's forgiveness for me.  How does Christ forgive?  Completely.  Ps. 103:12, Separates from east to west.  Is. 43:25, Remembers it no more.  All good examples of how forgiveness should be in my marriage...and how it creates a perfect environment for TRUST.  When I am reminded of all God did..."saved a wretch like me"...I think, "Why don't I TRUST Him completely, all.the.time?"  When I know my husband is focused on the same kind of God Trust...we have a great TRUSTing relationship indeed.

God has blessed.  A year later, while our circumstances have not changed, our marriage is stronger than ever before.  We still have two small children, our families still live far away, and sweet Loverbrains is often overseas engineering...but God is faithful.  Praise HIS name! 




7 comments:

Jona said...

trusting God first and everything just falls into place...i find that effective too :D thanks for dropping by at my entry :D God Bless!
my Marriage Monday

Joyfull said...

Love it!!! Things fall into place and we avoid so many struggles when we put God first. Thanks for a fantastic reminder!

Barbara H. said...

You make an excellent point: trust has to be in God first of all.

Miriam Pauline said...

How right you are! When we try to place our husband's in roles that are only meant for God then we are all destined to fail. Trusting God to be God and to lead him is much harder for me than trusting him. Thanks for sharing.

e-Mom said...

I'm thrilled to learn you've moved to a happier place in your marriage, Bobbi--even though nothing outwardly has changed. Attitude (and gratitude) plays such an important role in our outlook on life.

It's not wrong for you to want more love, care, and presence from your husband. Keep wating, hoping, and praying for that. Trusting God to bring about your heart's desires is the key, as you've discovered. And you're learning the skills of marriage that help you approach your husband in a respectful way that draws him to you, rather than unintentionally pushes him away. Good job!

Love you!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today.

(((Hugs))) e-Mom

Mac an Rothaich said...

Now that you see trusting God comes first and understand husbands don't fill all our needs I pray for boat loads of romance for you and him:) Bless you and p.s. I had to learn this same lesson too after years with my man m.i.a. a LOT (he was a rocker)!

tonya said...

What a wonderful post about faith and trust. It isn't always easy to trust the rewards are sweet. :)
Thanks for sharing!