"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Eph. 4:32
I reached a low point on TRUST last Spring. Having two small children, distant family, and a Loverbrains who travels a lot...I was putting a lot of pressure on myself (and failing) and a lot of pressure on my man (who was letting me down out of sheer exhaustion)...And, I have to say...I felt pretty dumb when it turned out to be a TRUSTing God issue.
Our Pastor had us meditate on Eph. 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." I had realized I wasn't being very kind...I was too rushed and too freaked out to be kind. I wasn't trusting God to meet my needs. There was no way I was going to be tenderhearted....vulnerability...are you nuts!? I was telling my Loverbrains he'd let me down and didn't deserve my tender heart...but really, I was saying...God had made a bad match...and God wasn't going to keep my heart safe.
Tenderhearted TRUST was extremely hard for me. I had to pray for God to hold my heart...to feel safe in Him as I tip-toed out to TRUST again. You know what I discovered? God is faithful! He has always cared for me and He always will. Isaiah 46:4, "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
I was able to really TRUST my Loverbrains when I focused on Christ's forgiveness for me. How does Christ forgive? Completely. Ps. 103:12, Separates from east to west. Is. 43:25, Remembers it no more. All good examples of how forgiveness should be in my marriage...and how it creates a perfect environment for TRUST. When I am reminded of all God did..."saved a wretch like me"...I think, "Why don't I TRUST Him completely, all.the.time?" When I know my husband is focused on the same kind of God Trust...we have a great TRUSTing relationship indeed.
God has blessed. A year later, while our circumstances have not changed, our marriage is stronger than ever before. We still have two small children, our families still live far away, and sweet Loverbrains is often overseas engineering...but God is faithful. Praise HIS name!