"Anything that comes across our path and puts us in difficulty, at once shows whether we believe in Him and trust in Him, by our response and reaction to it. We must never allow ourselves to be agitated and disturbed whatever the circumstances because to do so implies a lack of faith, a lack of trust, a lack of confidence in our blessed Lord and God." ~D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
I've come a long way in the area of letting these agitations show. I was thinking, as I re-read this quote, wouldn't it be so great if I could control those stomach knotting, hands freezing, shaking knees responses...the subtle and often unobservable. Cuz, that's the stuff that God still sees. Even when I'm able to pull off looking confident...He knows that I'm not wholly trusting Him. I don't want to just appear...I want to really BE.
This is such a tall order...I think sometimes I respond in agitation and disquiet simply as an expected response. For example, when Loverbrains is gone people expect me to be upset, tired and flakey...so, I gladly oblige. Ugh...no more. True, I miss him and I'm not going to pretend I don't...but I'm a strong woman when he's by my side and equally when he's not. He lovingly provides for me while he's gone...and faithfully corresponds and communicates with us too. Besides the BIG POINT...that God hasn't changed position one teensy bit. He's my rock solid foundation. How dare I behave as if it's anything less.
On Sunday we learned about Jehovah Shammah...The Lord is there. At first, I thought it was going to be all fluffy and lovey..."Aw, God's there...don't be afraid little sheepies." I was surprised to find that it connected to a much larger part of God's character. He is ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, and EVERYWHERE PRESENT...and because he's with every believer there is no reason for discontent. GOD IS THERE...he will never leave me or forsake me...
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
When people ask me how I'm doing...I don't want to give the conditioned or expected response...I want to give the response that shows that I am placing my faith, trust and confidence in my Jehovah Shammah...my Lord who is there...guiding me through every trial and storm, as well as the sunny, Fall days.
I want to be a brightly shining light...a spot of brightness that makes those in darkness come close and inquire...Why are you shining??
"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life." Philippians 2:14-16