If you were to spend time with me, right now...you'd see calm and order. I'd appear to have it all together. And, in a general way...I do. I guess, it's what's beneath the surface. I feel like this cup of coffee...mixing below the surface. My heart feels churned...and I'm struggling to find peace in God.I always come back from vacation and feel...weird. I feel totally random. I'm fluttering here and there trying to regain some semblance of normal home life again. The coffee we drink on vacation is not as strong as we tend to make (ahem, sorry Papa) and so we load up on super strong when we get home. Maybe that's it...I'm jittery. Well, it's part of that odd feeling below the surface.
But, that's not all of it...it's also the beginning of Fall...and ALL the activities that entails. In particular, church takes off at break neck speed. We're teaching SS together this year (so excited), I'm teaching Wed. night club, singing solos/duets, fall festivals, mini golf, bible studies...etc. etc. I'm not complaining...I LOVE those things. I find summer rather tedious because there isn't a real schedule...but it just takes my breath away...PHEW! On the surface VERY organized...churning and planning below...
And, we have friends moving...and I just hate change. I know, it is God's plan...it will be good for EVERYONE...but it hurts and I don't like it. I understand it perfectly in my head...but God is still comforting my heart. THAT's below the surface churning around in my guts.
Randomly today, I just wanted to say that you need to be examining and dealing with your heart struggles. Admit that you have them, for one thing. I'd like to add that I'm not against "surface shows"...cuz everyone doesn't need to know our business all the time or deal with our emotions. Just make sure that when it's just you...below the surface...that you are right with the Person that sees your heart!!
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." I Sam. 16:7
5 comments:
I love your honesty, it's not easy to share what's really going on underneath the surface of our calm, cool facades. I pray God graces you to handle all that you have to do in this busy season, and that he would give you lots of refreshing, joyous moments in all the chaos and busyness.
Have a great weekend!!
Great post, Bobbi. Sometimes change is refreshing and exciting, sometimes it is uncomfortable - -and sometimes it is a mixture of both. We're dealing with that now in a number of areas.
Challenging thoughts Bobbi. I know I can get very busy and not go too deep. Of course that is on purpose sometimes. ;)
Thanks for challenging me to look a little deeper.
Have a wonderful weekend!
It is so frustrating to me when I feel the churning, and yet, cannot find the source. Often, getting to the roots take time and I found that He will keep things churning until I come and seek Him.
This is absolutely one of my most favorite verses.
I'm sorry your heart is unsettled right now. I do understand that feeling and will be praying for your peace. It's so hard sometimes to transition to a new school year...
He's using you well, dear one. :)
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